I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
