Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize