I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize