It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
