Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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