my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
