I just threw up on my dentist
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
