i think my mom watched the whole time
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
