we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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