I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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