What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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