Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize