My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
