i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
