he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize