I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
