Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize