i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
