toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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