I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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