hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my shit smells like andre
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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