even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
