he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize