Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
did i walk over a car last night?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize
