but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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