pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
