I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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