Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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