I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
