Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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