I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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