just come out here and I will go home with you...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize