i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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