Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
