Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
