What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
