Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
