I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
