Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think i have two assholes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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