I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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