I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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