Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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