some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
