I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
