Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
