She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
