I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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