By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize