Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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