She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
