So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
