I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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