It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
