Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
