I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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