sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm sobbing to NWA
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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