And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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